4. A year and a half has passed and she calls me one day, we broke up and I need your help with the kids. 4. He since has gone on to not talking to me for weeks at a time, saying he is thinking of leaving, driving around the countryside for 10 days by himself, not ringing me or the children for Christmas (I was staying at my parents on holidays), phoning me on holidays and saying he was selling everything and leaving me, not communicating for a week after dropping his bombshell of leaving, to now once Im back from holidays looking for a room to rent so he can have space. A week after he left my dad passed away. Youre absolutely right! I only found out because I found an email n so I emailed her. 1. The kids are with her in the parents house. We made specific vows centered around this. 50 steps to see your kid and she couldnt be bothered, now I really lose faith. It appears the more you try, the more you are rejected. When it doesnt hurt anymore and you find your partners actions pathetic . I guess working 2 jobs and taking care of the kids and the house. Ok, judas. When I first left the security of my nuclear family, my house, and my marriage the world initially seemed so shaky and unstable. If you are not than this is a problem that needs solved, as I am sure you would be right at his side if roles were reversved. Had a six month affair with my real estate agent next door. When everyone had left he told me how much he loved me , how proud he was of me. it was so bad I lost 50 pounds in 8 weeks.I couldnt work,lost all interest and no motivation I couldnt function .the grief and depression was so overwhelming I had to be hospitalized.Im currently getting therapy, and counseling for my grief and depression.but it still does not answer the question, why? It is really hard. Js. She lied and broke my heart. No point in keeping contact with me. Nothing has meaning. We sometimes include products we think are useful for our readers. Over time the problems of depression were compounded by more and more episodes of red faced spitting rage. Megan. She tells me she is not sure who she wants to be with. Two still reside with us. Is he hiding an affair? She nonchalantly says I am going to stay with my step Dear Tim As woman we can try so hard and bend over backwards. 3) Be patient with your husband and his remorse. Is he really going to his parents house? I want to believe that it is all a nightmare and that she will wake me up any moment and forgive my past He was two weeks into an emotional affair, and he says, wanted to do the right thing by not cheating on me. I know that whatever is meant to happen will and nothing will be too much for me too handle as Im not in this alone. As a result I decided to leave it as is and work on me, my kids and try to keep my lovely baby growing inside me as healthy and happy as possible. I caught her having phone sex with a boyfriend from 40 years ago. Letting go doesn't mean forgetting, pretending your heart isn't broken, or putting up walls so you don't get hurt again. Failure to touch. He was mean, angry and a totally crazy. I am devastated. For example, its typically easier to digest the idea that you and your partner grew apart than it is to consider the possibility that he or she fell out of love with you. Telling them she didnt want them,etc, My ex just left me with all the bills lol he walked out of my life like nothing and im the only hurtingif you need someone to talk to Im here, the fafher of my baby gel have been hot n cold for abt three years now .well it started while i was pregnant he used to beat me kick me or drag me on the road beating me if i have found out that he was cheating.or even chase me away sometimes every time he does sumthing wrong but i kept on staying becoz i luvd him n ddnt want to hurt his feelings after giving birth i found out tht he have been changing gels like peds.well i wanted to move out but had no choice things at home are not gud but i stayed unhappy though sometimez he wud say words painfull one but becoz i loved this guy it wasnt easy to just live .i remember one day i was with him n hiz brothers i found out tht his talking with somether lady in his home the i waited for him to see me n then i took my child n went to sleep guess what he budge in n started to drag me out side i tried to run but had no power he catched me n started beating me up n tripped me then i fall n he drag me with my foot untill my leg got dislockated couldnt even walk i wanted out but i forgave him untill other day we werent talking coz he have started it so dd not ask went to shopping when i came back my clothes were out side even my babys clothes then i waited for him he said to me i must go n stay where i will feel free n do whatever i want there well i just packed my stuff n left but after a week came back to him untill now he said tht i must get my own man i said to its better i go n stay with my children instead of this bcoz this time around i have been asking him to stay with his family atlist once in a week not with friends especial gelz friends guys i need ur help am i wrong to move out of this relationship becos i feel like im all by myself n cant be happy when i feel like going out coz hell be controlling me like i am his wife, Thank you for your comment, Thulani. The next day she betrayed me again and left to this other mans bed. You can search in your area by entering your city or ZIP code into the search field on this page: https://www.goodtherapy.org/find-therapist.html. I know its hard and you might want your husband or another person to be there for you, but thats just not going to happen right away. 1. Im in Oregon. my wife is never contented with the marriage and she keeps packing even with no good reason leaving the kids behind.the other day i had visited her she told me that i shld train to stay without her because she can leave me and get married 2 another man.i have really sacrificed 4 the good survival of this marriage bt i just feel that the push has come 2 shove and its the high time i let it go 4 the sake of my life ,assist please, Thank you for your comment, Paul. Six months since I left him for another man. Its been almost 2 years and for the last 3 days Im an emotional wreck, this shouldnt hurt this much this far along. To make things better. Just because she knew need her health insurance doesnt mean she entitled your settlement. All part of the manipulation. My virginity was stolen from me raped at the age of 14 by 2 people I thought were my friends. Online forums are places where people come together to share their experiences with one another. And some families have one parent. He says she cant stop him seeing me but I think she will. I had two children who needs to complete their dreams. So I told her last week this crap isnt right and if she wants to be single every weekend than I cant be there at all and we will be zero contact at all. We went through mediation swiftly and amicably. I think its midlife crisis. We have talked about this more than I can count. emails me talks to me like these things happen. I just dont understand why Im not good enough for him. My partner of 7 year left me 10 weeks ago, She is 40 and i am 47 and she had an affair when with a guy i know who is 49 after her father died. Either way Im totally broken, unable to cope and cannot see a way ahead. This is a way to avoid your hurt and not deal with your emotional health. I know it hurts, my husband left me too. If you had make a big mistake and dont know how to fix it, your friend or family member will be able to help you figure out what you did wrong. This has been going on for years. They might stop eating or eat more to dull the pain. Words of advice Get an emotional tool belt, of things that will help you get better.. Then at the same time, he says if I just shut up and leave him alone, he will just do his own thing and I can do mine. Please keep sharing your common senseok, so my wife of 25 years just abandoned me, posioned my boys (18 & 21) and took the dogand my (deceased) mothers piano. I need me time. it will come . I dont know how you rip it apart and then walk away like nothings wrong. Im not sure, I was available to him for conversation,I very rarely went out because I work multiple jobs simultaneously, take care of the kids and the house. They may be confused. As hard as it might be to hear, there might have been some ongoing issues that had not been dealt with, which is why it might seem unexpected for one partner, but it has been brewing under the surface for a while, says Diana Garcia, a licensed mental health counselor from Weston, Florida. Im saying this because professional coaches at Relationship Hero helped me not only once but twice to get through a difficult time in my love life. Practice Management Software for Therapists, Rules and Ethics of Online Therapy for Therapists, How to Send Appointment Reminders that Work, http://www.goodtherapy.org/advanced-search.html, http://www.goodtherapy.org/in-crisis.html, https://www.goodtherapy.org/advanced-search.html, https://www.goodtherapy.org/in-crisis.html. Well, 7 months into our counseling, I found some emails between him and a women he worked with. I found a job making less money but I manage. I still love her and want to be with her for the rest of my life. How he just had a change of heart with no care in the world. He worked days. She was the main person I talked to and let her manage things. Your partner met someone else. I am in counseling 1x a week and just started a low dose of a antidepressant pill. Good riddance this is over. Years. Despite this he kept seeing me but would say we have to keep it casual so u can cope. we just chose our own path & wonder why 2 sinners cant make it together. Just make sure you get books that arent full of fluff and nonsense that doesnt mean anything. We spoke daily our entire relationship and had never even apart more than a few days. There will be light at the end of the tunnel, you just have to search for it and stay positive no matter what. Everyone I know has been together for years and are still madly in love. I begged her to stay and to come to couples counselling which she refused, telling me to go to counsell on my own Everything I am not!! My youngest is only five. The devil has taken him or her over but it is up to you to be the bigger person and fight through it. When we met we had both been divorced so we started with the big stuff. She said she was done and was forcing herself to love me. .. blamed for everything. I lost my dad a few years ago. People need real information or else they divorce prematurely and they often go on to divorce again and again (more research!). Tho Anh Nguyn I am devastated we have 3 children and one doing his GCSEs I am a mess my daughter keeps questioning me and Im trying to hold it together but Im in so much pain and I cant imagine my life without him Now . I know youre hurting right now, and I understand that you want another shot with your husband. Its worth absolutely zero to her. He is not the man I have been with for the last 15 years At the end of the day, If someone truly loves you the way you deserve they will not allow you to feel this way. My husband left me as he fall o love with a woman online which he has never meet. I slowly rebuilt myself through counseling for over a year, meditation (I used the Calm app every night). How is it going with the communication now. My case is not the only abuse of this restraining order trick. When someone walks away from u let them walk ur destiny was never tied to anyone that left. He had over the years became grumpy and this only got worse. Hey guys:) go to church! She seemed to be in conflict with herself yet on my level entirely. He worked through the anger already. I cant sleep at night. Love is blind, but Im not so blind any more. What determines a family in 2019? But remember it has very little to do with you and everything to do with them. I work everyday to get stronger and grateful for what I do have, but the hurt is unbearable.Why didnt he just tell me he found someone else and wanted a divorce?? No matter what the true cause is, it is tied to your emotions. During this time my Family saw the truth, because my ex husband and his girlfriend did so many cruel things. I dont get it. He made me feel like it was me, I realized later it was not and can not believe I spent so much time allowing him to make me feel this way. 4. We will pay 25 for every Letter to (please write about 600-700 words), Playlist, Snapshot or We Love to Eat we publish. Rather, letting go is about loosening unhealthy attachments. Everyone says time. I know how you feel. She told me she is falling for another man. All that matters is that they make you feel good inside. He left me and 3 weeks after he was already dating a girl. The hole in my chest is so vast. Hopefully my therapy along with meds will help me survive this horrible time of my life. Then we irretrievably hate. Trying to figure out why your partner left you can become the bane of your existence. "It's impossible to please you.". Character counts, have some standards that you are not willing to make exceptions on. Said she didnt love me and turned to her boss. There are many of us going through the same thing and you have a support network of people to reach out to for coffee, chats, friendships, even just to read stories and ask questions or know you are doing a great job. We loved like I have never experienced. Not everybody is Christian or catholic!!! I guess she is doing just that. The healing has begun but I still have to decide when to start the divorce process and am terrified to go through it as I always valued marriage as really sacred and wanted to build a lovely family of my own with the person that I thought really loved and appreciated me, but of course we were never in the same page. And it would show your wife youre trying still. It sounds like the only way this will work is if you tell her what you want and deserve and if she cannot do that then get busy. Im in so much pain physically. And even though your kids are older now, they still need you. She told our three kids she was leaving before I got back from extended combat training at joint base dix. My wife is leaving me after 24 years and I was great to her and she even admitted it but got bored with me and started treating me terrible. I dont get it for you either. My husband did the same thing to me. She was my world and the greatest mother our children could ever ask for. But I did it and discovered 2 empty bottles of butane. He said he was unhappy for 10 years. he still love his ex wife and tell to my face that his only pretending to love me all this years. I always try to communicate with her pushing to know whats going on but she will pick offence and let in argument. Well I agree that these might be some of the reasons people leave, but I disagree with the coping responses. We did everything together, camping, hunting, fishing, holidays, and Netflix marathons of snuggling on the couch. It feels better to chat about it, too know others are going through the same thing & it does suck. Being in the military I have seen unbelievable atrocities, that others will not believe happened because they dont think it possible. My wife of fifteen years did almost exactly the same thing to me. I know for some people, strength is a lot more difficult to find within, and some people may not have a support network around them, but with, I didnt feel like a 20 year old. WHY?????? I write about the intersection of life and love: how spirituality has changed my relationships, what I do to cultivate love in my life, and why I believe that all relationships are spiritual. Thanks. My mom is sick. Its safe to say its probably in the bloodline, and Ive got great role models there. He just kept saying it was 'his problem.' I later learned this depression likely stemmed from him not wanting to leave his son, but feeling like he was stuck in a marriage he didn't want to be in. Listen Im going thru the same thing bro.fiance left me for her young boss..we have a 2 year old daughter and I went from having our own apartment to me moving back with my mother and starting over and shes still dealing with him for the past 4months now. When I approached her she didnt deny it. If you buy through links on this page, we may earn a small commission. Its etched in my mind. Too bad he is having a mid-life melt down. They often feel offended by what they perceive as a general insensitivity to their "needs." As a result, they're . I am just wondering something just seems very off. We talked it over and he told me all the things I was doing wrong to make him unhappy I aired a few of my worried and decided actually nobody wanted to leave and we would put the year behind us and take it month by month and try to get back to the happy place we were in before the last year. I cry all the time. But I am distracted by my mothers illness. People snap. Because i was not dressed for it and i am not comfortable with my body. I hate myself and have become a hermit. She told me she had more energy than everyone in her family and felt like she was waisting away. Lost 6 kg. I dont know what to think anymore. Just because it seems like they dont love you doesnt mean that theyre done with you. Women are very good these days breaking many mens hearts, and i know other friends that had it happened to them as well. I honestly thought she would grow up over the years or I could save her. Hi my name is Matt. From my perspective your husband saying that he is not happy could mean several things: 1. The trust we had is gone. Soon, I reverted back to what I was doing to prior to the attempt to get pleasure. Hug I work part time supporting in a school. I was a new mother to a 3-month-old baby girl. I cry every night of the pain I feel. I do find these are the main reasons for divorce. You are trying so hard and are not getting the appreciation you deserve. She misses hosting family gatherings, although she still attends them at her husbands house. In doing that it was found that I needed a hysterectomy due to fibroid cyst were filling my uterus to the point that everthing else was pushed into my chest cavity! I am so heart broken why would he do that to me and how will l get over him ALLTOGETHER. You need to find someone who loves you, rather than someone that wants what they can get from you. I was there for him when he was at his lowest point. You will overcome this! my husband and I been together since August of 2011 off and on and but we got married in 2014 but at one point we were broken up for a few months before we got back together, we both were seeing other people, and I told him about it when he asked before we got back together but the people text were still on my old phone and he saw it and just decided to end us I dont understand how he can do this after we told each other that we talked to other people when we werent together, like its so messed up because hes been cheated on me almost our whole relationship idk what to do I love him and I want us to work but the fact that his mad about somethings that happened when we werent together is messed up and Im just supposed to be okay with everything hes done me none of this makes sense, Im really hurt and I dont know what to do with myself :'(. When my kids are with me im fine but when they leave to go home it takes me at least an hour to get my head straight. Six months that I have been experiencing the utmost happiness, while also experiencing the most gut-wrenching guilt. .. You may have noticed unhappy employees joking about wanting to burn down their . It's the one that causes depressed partners to say they're no longer in love and have never loved their partners. My husband left me citing this as the only reason. April 22, 2022, 1:05 am. Also how about youre the one who threw him out because after losing your whole family he tells you that he hopes you die of cancer. That she was ok with the progression of things I know it sounds like a hard thing to hear, but sometimes when people get divorced their whole lives change. And she told me everything. You are not going to die .Your wife who is supposed to love you has been seeing another man no matter what the excuse this is not acceptable. Your pain will pass and you will get back on ur feet again. How about that? (my #6 lumbar vertebra was staved in caused, by the way, by a beating by another sweet s**) Finally, this reached a crisis, as I was actually dying from the pain (didnt know that could happen, until it happened to me). Our new counselor really seems to understand our real issue, which is communication on a very big level. He is indicating you have all the power over his life. Just because someone is depressed, has anxiety, or [insert mental illness here], doesn't mean you should write them off. She is 39 and I am 50. I am so so Hurt.. What do i do,?? I threatened to call the police but never did out of fear of having anything to do with that kind of stuff and the kids. We have a son who is just under 2 and was born 10 weeks early. I did not seek another relationship because I honoured my commitments and the Lord but in 2016 my husband finally disclosed that he was suffering from Cancer. I has been left with no rhyme or reason you can read my earlier blog. But I give. At 42 they are prime examples of men going through Mid Life crisis. I know for my own good I will have to pick up my shattered heart and live as if it never happened. This is my 2nd failed marriage. Inner wisdom can move you forward. What happened? They make promises, to you and your children, and when those promises are . This just didnt happen in my family. When your children were young, you probably used to have fun and spend time with them. They are just girls. The right man will respect what you have been through, he will be patient and kind and above most understanding. When they returned she told me shes been unhappy and is leaving me. You are dead to me as I am to you so lets not resurrect the dead. After everything promises etc he leaves again. I always thought , feared she may leave me when Im older and it happened! With them for years but I lost everything I had and he didnt even wait at least to help me. Please help I feel like Im drowning and dont know how to protect my kids from the pain they will feel, I feel horrible for you, this is going to be a very hard time but youre going to have to focus on the kids. now this 55 year old woman, has pierced her nose, lip, all up and down both ears, and has gotten three tattoos.it is very strange behavior, for a woman who went to church. He has three kids I have two. They will never know how grateful I am. I kept with it as I felt so lucky to know someone so unique and incredibly desirable. He was determined. In a way i feel the same way. Theres a reason to leave someone. we moved out with each other when she was 17 and I was 22. She didnt deserve any of this.. So find a new companion to share your life with. Always go with your gut instinct and protect yourself until you feel safe again. And, no, she doesnt want to give it to you, shes buying her way out. Come to find out, there have been several items packed and taken from the home. Thank u for replying. The kids will see you live life happier and fuller than ever before and they will follow suit. I explained I couldnt make it and walked away. Damn well I was paying half of the bills if not more. Thanks i also have a lot of trouble because i want him back and love him very much. If a man is wondering, looking, you can almost bet he is cheating. this is the ugliest experience i ever had, losing my wife after 16yrs of marriage having 3boyz nd 2galz we got married age 25 nd 21, but now am 41 shes 37. i started noticing long calls chats and messages together with her painful attitude of coming home very late. My husband and I have been together for 12 years and married for 6 years. Whit from Maine, Hi Im 35 my husband is 42. About a month ago, I separated from him because I did not feel like he actually loved me. Shell be fine, but I will be a mess. He ended up walking past me and got in our car and left. He has never served me, and has filed for two extensions for the filing. You will be fine. And thats not good because he wont want to be with anyone who cant keep her self-respect. I am pretty sure both girls will elect to come live with me soon. I later found out she moved into the house her male boss was selling. The sadness consumed me like an angry fire I couldnt put out. I have been with my husband for 14 years.13 of them married. And that sucks. He held me back and then confessed that he was bi-sexual and had been texting with another man. Very true unfortunately people have no gratitude and are not satisfied with what they have only look at what they dont, Grass always greener on the other side and want what others have got even if that destroys there own lives or someone elses. He said he didnt want it to escalate so he left. Instead of moving on and doing whats best for themselves, they take out all their anger and sadness on anyone who will listen to them. Two days later I went and begged for another chance.she said yes and we spent what I thought was a day filled with renewed spirit, touching holding talking. I told him that Im willing to take him back despite of what hes done but it looks like he cant stop talking to this person. My ex boyfriend just moved out left me carelessly with all the bill.He was always a depressed person and I was always there for him then I started to become depressed.